He's still "The Man"

They say the sign of a real man is one that will get a vasectomy....without hesitation. Well, what kind of man is it that will sign up for it, make the appointment, visit the Doctor, schedule the surgery, and then walk out of the office after being asked by his wife to leave???????


That is exactly what my husband just went through. He did all of the preparations himself. I was pretty proud of him, yet full of hesitation. I had been telling him that I was not sure if I was ready for that, but not very forceful about it. I guess I put it out of my mind, that he was really planning on doing it. We have 3 wonderful children, and they are a handful. I said to my husband that after my youngest, I was defiantly ready to be done. Pregnancy does not agree with my body at all. I know that the thought of feeling the way I did for 9 long months, is torture, but you all know the flip side with the end result. I love my kids. They are amazing, I cannot picture never creating another human, when God gave us such a gift in doing that. I know financially that it is so hard, especially right now, yet again....NEVER AGAIN? I did not think that I would fall to this place again. Especially after my youngest was born. My husband and I were in Baby's R Us with all 3 kids. My oldest was running one way, my son another, and in the cart sat my new baby....yelling her head off. I looked at my husband, while reaching for my 2 running kids...and asked...."who's crazy idea was this???" We did get a laugh or 2 out of that, but I was serious. Who ever said that 3 was just as easy as 2, was lying!! They really just wanted another couple to join the crazy house club with them. They did not want to go it alone.


But as time marches on, how easy we forget. I can picture how I felt, yet somehow, it does not seem so bad. I survived right?


Did I miss my perfect opportunity? My husband going into the surgery voluntarily? As we approached the office, I began to get very panicked. I had already been crying all the way there. I just did not want him to go through with it. I just kept saying I was not ready. "I am not ready, I am not ready" He would tell me that he was. It went back and forth all the way there. We approached the office, and he grabbed my hand. "We can have in un done you know" I even thought about that for a second. "Yes, but we won't" I said. It is covered by insurance to have it done, but not un done, and we would never save that money. I knew that once he did it, that was it, it was all over. We sat in the parking lot for a little while. We had to go in, I knew that. I got out and walked slowly into the office. While sitting inside, I lost it, I could not stop crying. I knew that everyone in there knew I was crying because my husband was chopping off his baby making tubes.


After many minutes of me crying, I looked at my husband and said.." I REALLY am not ready for you to do this."He got up, went to the desk, and told the receptionist that we would reschedule another day. He took my hand, and we walked out. I never felt so relieved. Was it because I really want another baby? or was it because he let me be a part of the choice? That he really wanted me to be comfortable about it. He told me on the way home that he really does not want another baby, but if I was not done discussing it, then we would have to talk about it more, before he went and had the big V. I think in that moment I feel in love with him all over again.